Denim Panties Are The Worst Idea In A Long Line Of Bad Fashion Ideas

By lheidi - April 08, 2019

Sometimes fashion is too fashionable for its own good. It means well. Honestly, it does. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and the road to being a fashion victim is paved with ideas that seem like they’ll work at the time. Just because you can buy a piece of fashion at a store, doesn’t mean you should.

These fashion ideas belong in a museum – a museum of fashion don’ts that serve as a warning for all future generations. Those who come after us can learn from our mistakes, and we hope that they don’t repeat them. Because every ten years or so, the fanny pack tries to come back. It seems like we should have learned by now that it never, ever looks good. But nope! So click on through to see the worst fashion mistakes that should never, ever come back. Please don’t try to wear them, though!

Denim Panties


Denim panties almost look like a denim diaper, but one that’s meant for grown ups to wear.

We love our jeans, because they’re super comfortable, but we’re not sure how these are meant to be enjoyable to wear.

Are you supposed to wear them under your pants, like normal underwear, or are you supposed to wear them as pants? We’re pretty sure the only people who would actually want to buy denim panties are never nudes, like Tobias Funke on Arrested Development.

Clear Jeans


If you do really want to wear denim panties, you can always wear them with clear jeans.

That way, people can see what underwear you’re wearing underneath your pants by looking straight through your pants. Because they’re clear.

We always thought “jeans” meant that your pants are made out of denim, but sure, we guess a clear plastic can also somehow be considered denim in some way shape or form? Maybe if you don’t think about it?

Asymmetrical Jeans


When you can’t make up your mind if you want to wear a straight leg pant or a flare pant, there’s asymmetrical jeans.

You don’t have to choose between two separate fashion styles, because somebody combined them into one.

It’s like one leg is all about looking clean and classic, and the other leg is all about rocking a funky flare, but neither of them want to wear the same thing. Because that’s the only way these pants would make sense.

Clear Knee Mom Jeans


And if you can’t decide between wearing denim jeans or clear jeans, you can always wear both at the same time.

Because clear knee mom jeans have got you covered, even if they don’t have your actual knees covered.

Seriously, we have no problem with denim as it is. And if it’s not broken, don’t try to fix it! We don’t need all these different variations on jeans. Just let jeans be jeans. It’s who they want to be.

Vagina Shawl


Of course, weird fashion isn’t just limited to the world of denim. Shawls can get in on the game, too.

Fendi’s fur shawl makes you look like you’re given birth to yourself. Because the miracle of life should be celebrated through fashion.

Uhh…. maybe this shawl would be better if it wasn’t pink… and lined with fur… Although it might look worse if it wasn’t lined with fur at all. Basically, there’s no right way to wear this shawl.

Flower Beards


A man’s beard should be left alone. It is what it is and we can all call it a day.

We don’t really need to stick flowers in it. They don’t even make the beard look less rugged.

It’s almost as if he went wandering around in a forrest and then fell asleep and tiny fairies stuck a bunch of flowers in his beard as a prank. And when he woke up, he didn’t realize they were there.

Ed Hardy


It’s hard to talk about bad fashion without talking about Ed Hardy shirts. It’s something we should all forget about.

What were we thinking in the aughts when Ed Hardy shirts were everywhere? Was it a case of mass hysteria?

And when Ed Hardy shirts disappeared, we all forgot they were a thing in the first place, which is a good thing. Because it’s the closest thing we can do to making them never exist at all.

Denim Panties (Different Ones)


If you like the idea of denim panties, apparently you’re in luck because multiple designers think they’re a good idea.

These jeans come with detachable legs, you know, just in case you get warm and don’t want to wear pants anymore?

Or if you spill something on one of your pants legs, you can always zip it off and throw it in the washing machine while you walk around with the other leg completely covered. It’s too good to be true!

Shoes Without Soles


If only you could wear shoes without that whole pesky “protecting your feet from the ground” thing.

Now you can! You can turn your bare feet into high heels with whatever these shoes are supposed to be.

The thing about heels, is they always hurt your feet. And these look just as painful as a pair of five inch stilettos that actually, you know, cover your feet. Maybe even more painful, because you know you’re going to be stepping on sharp objects.

Very High Waisted Pants


High-waisted pants are coming back in fashion, now. No word on whether or not very high-waisted pants are coming back, too.

Although, “coming back” implies that they were here in the first place. Which we’re pretty sure they weren’t.

The only person who every wore their pants this high was Steve Urkel, and we’re pretty sure he wasn’t an icon of style. If you’re going to wear high-waisted pants, make sure you don’t wear them this high.

Flesh-Colored Leggings


Leggings are so comfortable, it almost feels like you’re wearing nothing on your legs at all.

And sometimes, it also looks like you’re wearing nothing on your legs at all. We have flesh-colored leggings to thank for that.

In theory, it’s a good idea to have leggings in a neutral flesh color. It goes with anything. But in reality? Well, in reality it looks like you’re streaking through the grocery store but only from the waist down.

Drop Crotch Pants


When it comes to drop crotch pants, you should drop it like its hot. Very hot.

We’re not sure why anyone would need that much fabric swinging between their knees. Maybe only a giant would require the extra room?

You can probably get by on regular pants, and that way, you won’t look like you’re on Hammer time. Don’t rock drop crotch pants if you can’t grant anyone wishes if they come up to you and wish for something!

Plastic Shoes


Another bad fashion idea that seems like it’s a good fashion idea because you can wear it with anything is… clear shoes.

It’s a neutral piece, which means it can match with pretty much anything in your closet.

As long as you don’t take into account the fact that they actually go with nothing because they don’t look good at all. Maybe if you want to keep your actual shoes dry when it’s raining these shoes would work?

Glitter Beards


As if men’s beards weren’t put through enough by bad fashion ideas. Now they’ve been put through even more.

Glitter beards were popular a few years back. Although, we’re pretty sure the men who wore them are still rocking them.

Because glitter never, ever comes out. Once you use glitter, you can never un-use glitter. You’re finding pieces of glitter everywhere for years after you use it. You can never get rid of glitter, you can only manage it.

Jean Shoes


Why do your legs have to have all the fun when it comes to wearing jeans?

Why can’t your feet get in on that action? Because it’s extremely tacky, that’s why. We thought Uggs were the world’s ugliest boot, but we guess we were wrong.

To make things worse, these shoes are somehow both a boot and a flip flop at the same time? Is that even possible? Can you wear both a sandal and a boot?

The RompHim


The only thing worse than the female romper is the male romper. Or, rather, the rompHIM.

We’re not sure why men would want to wear an outfit you have to completely remove when you go to the bathroom.

That’s the secret to rompers nobody tells you about. You get tangled up in your own clothes and end up peeing on it a little bit every single time you try to go to the toilet. Every. Single. Damn. Time.

Lace Shorts For Men


If there’s anything worse than the romphim, it has to be lace shorts for men.

First of all, why are these shorts sheer? Who would want this? And what underwear are you supposed to wear underneath them?

Second, why are there matching tops for the lace shorts? That are also sheer? These look like a ’90s trend that was so bad even the actual ’90s didn’t want it. And yet, here we are. Lace shorts in the 21st century.

Clear Sneakers


Okay, so maybe we don’t make any more clothing in the color we’re calling “clear.”

It just seems like it’s a recipe for disaster. Nothing good has come from taking a clear piece of plastic and turning it into clothes.

We can just keep making clothes from fabric. We didn’t have a problem with that. We didn’t need to switch to clear plastic. Let’s just keep things nice and simple and, you know, not at all tacky.

Denim Two Piece


Sometimes the Canadian tuxedo is a little bit too formal, but you still want to look nice.

So you can just pop on this denim two piece, and all of a sudden you’re ready for those fancy, yet not super fancy farm functions.

Like if for some reason the farm had an elegant cocktail party? You’d really impress the cows and the chickens in this ensemble! Just make sure you pair it with the right straw hat!

Thong Jeans


If you thought jean panties were the only type of weird underwear-esque denim that someone tried to pass off as fashion, you’d be wrong.

The jean thong is just the next logical step when it comes to turning pants into something they shouldn’t be turned into.

We’re not sure why someone would do this to a pair of pants. A perfectly innocent pair of pants that never did anything to anyone. Those poor pants! That poor person who has to wear them!