Kit Kat Is Coming Out With A Pumpkin Spice Flavor And We’re Just Not Ready
There are a lot of things we love about the fall. The leaves change. The air turns crisp. We can finally break out the layers that we shed when it was summer. We can go apple picking, drink cider, and start planning our Halloween costumes. But probably the thing we love most about autumn is that suddenly the world is pumpkin spice everything. We know. We know. It’s a bit basic to love pumpkin spice. But we can’t help ourselves. Once the weather dips below 65, we suddenly want to douse ourself in the chemically created flavor that has no actual pumpkins in it, but for some reason makes us feel like we’re consuming the gourd.
And companies know how much we love pumpkin spice. We’re not sure if we like it because they’re pushing it on us, or if they’re pushing it on us because we like it. Either way, they’re giving us a lot of it.
Sooner Than Later
It seems like seasonal things are getting pushed on us earlier and earlier each and every year. Pretty soon, Christmas decorations are going to start going on sale in mid-February.
This year, pumpkin spice season (and yes, it’s its own season) is starting in the summer.
Or at least, if Kit Kat gets its way it will. It’s so hot that we can’t sit in the air conditioning without sweating, but sure, we’ll eat some pumpkin spice.
Spice It Up
Kit Kat has announced they’re coming out with a pumpkin spice-flavored Kit Kat bar.
We love Kit Kat bars, but we don’t know how we feel about pumpkin spice-flavored Kit Kat bars. We know in theory that pumpkin spice can be flavored with chocolate, but should it?
We are pretty sure that these aren’t going to be as gross as the green tea flavored Kit Kat bars, so that’s the silver lining of this monstrosity, right?
Been There, Done That
This actually isn’t the first time that Kit Kat has produced a pumpkin spice flavored bar, so it’s probably good?
The company put out the same flavor back in 2017, but it was only available for a limited time.
If you get your hands on one of those old bars, they’re probably still good because for some reason candy has no expiration date. You could probably still eat this 100 years from now and it would be fine.
We’re okay with the idea of a pumpkin-spice flavored Kit Kat bar, but there’s one aspect of it that we’re not okay with.
The pumpkin spice Kit Kat bar is going to come out in August. In the summer.
Yes, you read that right. This autumn treat is going to hit stores when the temperatures are still in the 80s and 90s. It’s not exactly the cool, refreshing summertime treat that we want to reach for.
We can’t get mad at Kit Kat for wanting to get on the pumpkin spice trend.
The idea of chocolate and pumpkin spice doesn’t make us want to gag just thinking about it. But there are many other combinations that are just wrong.
There’s a special place in marketing hell for these pumpkin-spice flavored products. Click through to see the worst of the worst in the pumpkin spice trend. Beware. It’s scarier than anything on Halloween.
Pumpkin Spice Almonds
We kind of understand why someone would come up with the idea of making pumpkin spice almonds.
Almonds and pumpkin spice are the two things that basic girls can’t resist. Of course someone would make them try to go together.
But while we understand the idea, we don’t understand the reality. Although, you can probably use this as basic bait if it ever came down to it. Just put a can of pumpkin spice almonds in a trap.
Pumpkin Spice Pringles
We totally get why Pringles would do this. They’re totally known for coming out with weird flavors.
But pumpkin spice Pringles is probably the weirdest flavor that they’ve ever come up with. And yes, we do think it’s even weirder than crab.
You know those Pringles cans that have a snake in them that pops out at you and scares you? Yeah, we’d rather open one of those than open up this can of pumpkin spiced weirdness.
Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn
We don’t know what flavor regular candy corn is supposed to be. We’re sure that it’s not corn. It tastes nothing like the vegetable.
If you told us that it was supposed to be pumpkin all along, we’d believe you. But apparently, it’s not because they also came out with a pumpkin spice flavor.
Now we have two mysteries to solve – why would they do this and what are candy corns supposed to be in the first place?
Pumpkin Spice Hummus
The person who came up with pumpkin spice hummus has clearly never had hummus before.
What did they do? Pick flavors out of a hat and then decide to go from there? We’d rather dip our carrots and celery into a vat of hot mud.
We don’t want to say that pumpkin spice hummus is the worst example of cultural appropriation, but we can’t think of anything else to call it. These two things should never go together.
Pumpkin Spice KFC Wrap
If there’s a medal for “Grossest Fast Food That No One Ever Asked For,” we would have to give it to KFC for this whatever this is supposed to be.
Seeing this crunchy pumpkin and feta chicken twister wrap make us never want to eat food again.
We have no more appetite. At all. It got scared by this weird wrap and ran away. This could have been avoided if they never came out with this thing.
Pumpkin Spice Hamburger
We normally love Umami Burger. Really, we do. They’re great at making weird combinations work.
But we’ll never know why they decided to make a pumpkin spice latte hamburger work. We normally don’t sip on our pumpkin spice lattes and think, “You know what would be great with this? A giant piece of meat.”
At least they didn’t decide to come out with a pumpkin spice latte impossible burger. We bet that would taste impossibly bad, too.
Pumpkin Spice Twinkies
Pumpkin spice Twinkies are everything that’s wrong with this world rolled up into one artificial food item.
We’re not sure who they’re fooling with this, but there’s absolutely nothing natural about this pumpkin spice Twinkie. It’s like they took a bunch of chemicals, put them in a pot together, saw what happened, and then named it this.
This is for sure a lab experiment gone wrong that they’re now trying to pass off as some kind of food.
Pumpkin Spice Peeps
The last time we checked, Peeps were an Easter candy, and not an Autumn or Halloween candy.
So why are they trying to turn it into a year round thing? Just let Peeps be for Easter. Can we leave it at that?
If we keep on trying to make Peeps for other seasons, it makes it less special. Plus, eating just one Peep around Easter is enough sugar to get us through an entire calendar year, too.
Pumpkin Spice Toothpaste
Remember when they used to make cinnamon toothpaste? We thought that was way too spicy for us.
Even though pumpkin spice isn’t a “hot” spice, it’s still way too spicy for toothpaste. Plus, what’s the point of putting pumpkin spice in your mouth if it’s not accompanied by a latte?
Now you can brush away all of the other pumpkin spice products that you ate with some more pumpkin spice. We’re going to pass on this toothpaste.
Pumpkin Spice Soap On A Rope
Okay, so pumpkin spice soap on a soap might actually be the least weird pumpkin spice thing on this list.
We totally get why someone would want to bathe with a bar of soap that’s scented like autumn. People light up pumpkin spice candles all the time.
But we’re left with one very big question about this product. Does the rope also smell like pumpkin spice? And if it doesn’t, why not? Can it smell like pumpkin spice?
Pumpkin Spice Beard Oil
If you’re really, really into the smell of pumpkin spice, then you’re in luck. Someone came out with pumpkin spice beard oil.
We’re pretty sure this was created so hipster guys can use it to attract basic girls.
Basic girls are drawn to the scent. It’s better than bathing in a river of pheromones. Don’t use this product if you don’t want to have a long line of basic girls following you like you’re the Pied Piper.
Pumpkin Spice Deodorant
Did you think that we were done with the pumpkin spice scented personal items? Think again.
There are no limits when it comes to what products smell like pumpkin space, although there should actually probably be a lot of limits.
Honestly, we feel like it would be less appalling to walk around with a bunch of B.O. than it would be to walk around with pumpkin spice scented pits. We’ll take the stench of sweat, thank you very much.
Pumpkin Spice Dog Shampoo
If your dog is very bad and won’t get the message no matter how much you punish him, then you’re in luck.
This pumpkin spice pet shampoo will make your dog know that he’s being a bad dog loud and clear.
Again, sometimes it feels like companies are trying to market their products to basic girls just by pulling things that basic girls are into out of a hat and seeing what sticks. They love dogs and pumpkin spice.
Pumpkin Spice Detail Spray
Yes, you read that right. This is pumpkin spice detail spray. For your car. For your pumpkin-y, spicy car.
It’s almost as if they had a bunch of leftover pumpkin spice and were like, “What do we do with this now?”
They could have done something better with all of the leftover pumpkin spice. They could have burned it so that we would never have to go through this and live in a world where this exists.
With so many pumpkin spice products, it’s hard to remember that pumpkin spice is first and foremost a spice.
But this spice isn’t like most spices. This spice is a spray on spice. Like Pam, but for flavor.
Although, we’re not sure if this pumpkin spice spice spray has any actual spices in it. We wouldn’t put it past them to make something that is spice-like and functions in the same way as spice, but isn’t a spice.