Awesome

Over A Million People Want To Storm Area 51 And The Memes Are HYSTERICAL

By Psquared - July 17, 2019
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Area 51 is a top secret government facility that has long been the epicenter of numerous conspiracies involving aliens. As long as the site has existed, people have believed higher ups in the U.S. military have been performing shady experiments and housing aliens, and doing everything they can to keep this knowledge from reaching the populace. Well, the populace has (sort of) rallied together, and they may find out what’s in there one way or another.

A Facebook event was created called “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All Of Us.” The description reads, “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.” Since it’s creation, it has several million people listed as “going” or “interested.” Will they actually do it? We don’t know… but the internet has created memes of this event, and as you’d imagine… they’re glorious.

Realistically...

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Okay, so… this is what’s going to actually go down, right? Yes, there are millions who checked themselves as attending.

But if you’ve ever created a Facebook event, you know how much those RSVPs are worth. A croissant with psoriasis is less flaky.

So when only about 100 people (and that’s being extremely generous) show up, are they going to still have the nerve to go through with it? The numbers aren’t on their side, and the military won’t take kindly to their presence.

Think Again

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Anyone who’s seen the final season of Game of Thrones knows exactly what that face means.

It’s when you smile directly at your enemy, trying to fake being kind. But underneath, you’re a stone cold savage just looking for any excuse to go off.

Wait… does Area 51 have dragons? Space dragons? They may even have ice zombies (although that desert climate can’t be great for them). We don’t know unless we try to get in, so go for it!

The Truth

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Area 51 isn’t the only conspiracy theory going around. You’ve all likely heard of false flag events.

That’s where a government attacks itself, making it look like another nation or group did it so they can retaliate in a way they wanted to but couldn’t unprompted.

However, this may be the most frivolous false flag ever. If you’ve been stationed to the same base for decades and nothing’s actually going on, you’ll make any excuse to see some action for a change.

However...

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But that’s assuming that there isn’t anything extraterrestrial going on at the military site. But what if there is?

Think of all the rewards that could be had. It’s worth the risk, isn’t it? What if we could unleash flying aliens into the sky?

Maybe they could teach us to fly. Imagine how much time and money that would save. Maybe that’s why the government is keeping them secretly locked away: they’re in league with the airports and taking bribes from them.

Lunch Break

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But what if the aliens aren’t prisoners at all? What if instead of being held against their will, they’re just employees?

Maybe they couldn’t find work on their home planet so decided to commute crazy long distances for work.

Heck, in this economy, you have to do what you have to do to make ends meet. When y’all storm in, be sure to not make too much of a mess. Folks are trying to enjoy their break in here.

Across The Pond

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This Facebook event gained popularity insanely quickly. It seems like just overnight, everyone was talking about it.

And when everyone is talking about something, that’s when memes start sprouting like hilarious weeds. And Reddit is the premium place for memes (and weed, funny enough).

However, Reddit is an international site, and this event is decidedly American. So many of our Euro friends woke up with no backstory as to what all of this meant. If you’re European and clicked on this to find out… there you go.

Strategy

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In a group with millions upon millions of members, conversation is bound to take place. But what are they talking about?

Strategy, of course! They’re trying to figure out the best way to break in. Let’s just say… it isn’t going that well.

Most of the people are nerds (no judgement; we are and love nerds here), and their idea of tactics comes mostly from video games. Hopefully if anyone does storm the base, they won’t be violent and won’t be dumb.

The Workers

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Imagine what it must be like being an employee at Area 51. That’s a strange job to begin with.

But with this phenomenon taking on new life and showing no signs of slowing down, it must make you pause and take notice.

These are all funny and they’re probably having a bit of a laugh about it… but a big part of them has to be kind of nervous. They’re just joking. They’re not actually going to go through with this… right?

Commitment

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As far as we can tell, Area 51 is just going to keep security at the same level they always do.

That’s a lot, but they must think it’ll be enough. Surely, these kids and their memes are just doing it for the lulz.

However, they may be gravely underestimating just how far these kids will go for said lulz. They think if you could get a hilarious YouTube video out of it, it’s worth whatever cost since they’ll live on forever online as a hero.

Be Out By 6

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What’s the best way to transport yourself to Area 51? Plane? Greyhound bus? Take an Uber?

Judging by the people posting in the group, it seems many of them are quite young and are going to need to ask a parent to drop them off.

And while their folks may not be too thrilled with this plan or the massive line of traffic they’ll face picking them up, they’re happy to see them making new friends and getting out of the house for a change.

Party!

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Of course, there are also a ton of college-aged members of the group making their own plans.

They see this as a massive party. They may be bringing along a ton of booze. Hopefully they’ll bring water as well, because you don’t want to get dehydrated while drinking, especially in the desert.

However, after blacking out here, you may wake up and find yourself with someone a little crazier than you’re used to. After this, they likely will never drink again.

Clever

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While the initial plan is to just rush the gates and hope you’re not one of the ones caught or fired upon.

However, this is one of the wiser plans we’ve seen. It uses brains instead of just brawn.

However, that better be one darn convincing ship. After all, this is a place that’s presumably seen a ton of real ones, so they’ll know it’s a fake. Especially if one of the several thousand people inside sneezes and ruins the surprise.

Work Smart, Not Hard

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Why risk your life by storming a government facility crawling with armed guards when you can be pampered instead?

Just dress up like an alien, say you heard this was the place to be and have them escort you in. Of course they’ll treat you well.

They don’t want to be rude and cause an intergalactic incident, do they? Once inside, you can chat with the other aliens, although there’s a large chance they’re also all just humans in alien suits.

Outside Forces

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What if the government doesn’t see this as a joke and is starting to take it seriously?

After all, with all those millions of people, surely some are crazy enough to try and do it. They must be taken preventative measures.

We wouldn’t be surprised if at least half of the members of that group are actually government officials spying on everyone, trying to keep track of the plan. Luckily, all these ridiculous memes are throwing them off the scent, so they have to stick to monitoring Google.

Timing Is Everything

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With all these people, organization is likely going to be a problem. That’s why the description has a specific day, time and place to meet.

However, not everyone’s reading comprehension is that great, so this poor sap showed up a few months early.

We hope they didn’t think, “YOLO,” and storm in anyway. Sure, one person draws far less attention so it’ll be easier to sneak in. But good luck getting out ever again even if you do manage to somehow enter.

Elon

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Celebrities are also getting in on the fun. Elon Musk himself offered some of his vast resources to those willing to go through with this.

However, we don’t think he’s actually serious. That’s ridiculous of him to actually do this.

Especially since he’s already met aliens. Why do you think he has so many space projects he’s working on? It’s because he’s trying to return to his home planet. This is just a distraction he’s trying to pull. Don’t fall for it.

Secret Weapon

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Okay, so what if the sheer size of the number of people storming the gates doesn’t work?

They designed the place to be like a fortress, and fortresses are meant to hold off sieges no matter how large they are.

That’s when you bring in the big guns. And when we say “guns,” we don’t mean literal guns. They’ll wish it was that easy. You get a couple of angry Karen’s asking for managers and threatening negative Yelp reviews, you know you’re job is in danger.

Explaining The Popularity

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So why has this event captured the imagination and creativity of so many? It’s because of the mass appeal.

People that believe in aliens? They want to finally get some answers! People that don’t? They want to see a bunch of dumb dumbs act like dumb dumbs.

And all those secret aliens? This is the perfect opportunity they’ve waited so long for to finally liberate their captured comrades. This is a perfect storm, and it’s been fascinating to watch unfold.

Waiting

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“Okay, so I’ve reread the event description about 30 times and it says it should have started about 20 minutes ago.”

“Calm down, Xlagorp. You know how these things go. No one wants to seem lame by being the first to arrive. They’ll be here.”

“I don’t know, Yzuku. I have a feeling we’re not getting any visitors after all. Dang it, why do so many people on Facebook say they’re attending if they’re not actually gonna go? Humans are the worst.”

Expectation Vs. Reality

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So how is this going to play out? Is it going to be a gathering of the largest, most noble and powerful army of all time?

Or is it going to be a handful of delusional dweebs getting themselves into a heck of a lot of trouble?

Either way, as spectators, we win. So make sure to watch as all the events unfold. Also, be sure to not actually storm Area 51 yourself. That’s what idiots are for, and if you’re reading us, you’re definitely smart.