Funny

Weird Things Found In Supermarkets That You Probably Don’t Want To Buy

By lheidi - April 30, 2019
Credits: http://www.reddit.com

Just because they sell something in a grocery store doesn’t mean you’re going to want to buy it. Not all food looks delicious. Honestly, not all food looks edible for that matter. Just because you can technically put a shrink-wrapped pig’s head into your grocery cart doesn’t mean you’re going to want to. Who wants to eat food that can stare back at you? It might come alive at any moment and tell you to stop eating it. Or worse, it might tell you to keep eating it.

We have to wonder what some grocery stores are thinking when they decide what foods go on their shelves. Are they just messing with us? Or are there people who actually eat this stuff? Maybe people buy it as a joke? Here are some of the weirdest things people found in grocery stores. And chances are, these things are still there.

Honey Do

Credits: https://www.reddit.com

Can’t we just have regular honey and say that’s good enough? We don’t need to get all fancy with it.

Because that’s a lot of work on the bees. To make a bunch of honey, and then also make basil to go in it.

Those bees are going to be really tired at the end of the day, and we really don’t want them to tire themselves out. They work so hard as it is! Plain honey should be enough!

A Big Package

Credits: http://www.popsugar.com

We’re not sure why they make Cheerios in such big boxes. Is there even a demand for a box of cereal this large?

Who is this supposed to be for? Someone who’s going on a cereal diet and needs to stock up?

Haven’t you heard about the cereal diet? You eat nothing but cereal for a week, and then after that week, you end up hating yourself for eating so much cereal. Nobody should ever eat that much!

Juicy Fruit

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

There’s nothing more unappealing sounding than cabbage juice. Go ahead and think of something that sounds grosser than that.

You can’t, can you? That’s because there’s nothing else out there that’s even half as nasty as cabbage juice.

Sure, you can jazz it up and call it kraut juice and hope we don’t notice. But if we’re seeing canned kraut juice on a shelf, we know what’s up and we’re staying very far away from it. It’s gross!

God Bless America

Credits: http://www.welltraveledpanda.com

Grocery stores abroad sell some of the strangest products, especially when it comes to products that they think are American.

It’s like they think that Americans go around eating hot dogs from a can, like that’s a staple of the American diet or something.

Can you imagine a hot dog vendor trying to hawk this at a baseball game? We’d actually probably still buy it, and we’d end up paying crazy high prices for it too. Hey, we’re hungry~

Nice Slice

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Oh, yeah! This is exactly what we needed in our lives and not at all a complete waste of plastic!

A pizza slice savor! For when you need to put just once slice of pizza in a plastic bag that’s shaped like a pizza, but also has a slice of pizza drawn on the front.

Who are we kidding? We don’t like to get all fancy with our pizza. We just keep it in the pizza box and stick it in the fridge!

Apple Of My Eye

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Who is this supposed to be a sensible portion for? A giant with an extra large stomach?

It’s certainly not a sensible portion for a normal size human. Who’s going to sit down and eat the whole bag?

Is it supposed to be healthy because it’s apples? Because in that case, yeah, someone could go ahead and eat a whole bag of apple chips and it would be sensible… again, provided they are a giant and not a normal sizes person.

What's In A Name

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

So, wait? Is a combination of vanilla and banana called banilla? Or is the combination called vanana?

Or are these actually technically two different flavors with two different tastes? We’re very confused by this whole thing!

We wish that yogurt companies would get on the same page and decide on a name for this flavor once and for all! Shouldn’t there be some kind of government regulation going on when it comes to naming vanilla and banana flavored yogurts?

Bull Spit

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Finally! A food company was able to get a bunch of frog spit and turn it into a delicious popsicle treat!

There’s nothing we want more than to feel like we’re eating frozen frog spit. It just sounds delicious!

Although, we really hope that this frog spit was collected in a humane way. We’d hate to think of those poor frogs sitting on a farm forced to spit all day until they’re too tired to spit anymore!

Where's The Mayo

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

It’s not quite a lemon. It’s not quite mayonnaise. It’s not lemonade, either. It’s lemonaise!

If you want the way too sour taste of a raw lemon, but also want the total blandness of mayonnaise, then this product is for you!

If you want lemonade, go somewhere else, because this product is completely different. It’s not even a liquid. It cannot be sold by children trying to raise money, nor should it. It’s lemonaise, and that’s a whole other thing.

Spread The Word

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Please don’t call this product peanut butter. It is not. It is a peanut spread.

It legally cannot be called peanut butter, because it may or may not meet the legal requirements of both “butters” and “peanuts.”

It’s a peanut like butter-esque spread-ish kind of thing. You won’t believe you’re not eating peanut butter! Although, you shouldn’t because it’s also technically not suitable for human consumption either. Nor is it legal in 28 states across the U.S.

American Pie

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Sorry. As much as we want to get on board with an apple pie flavored losing, we really can’t.

The movie American Pie has completely ruined anything apple pie related, especially when it’s called a “warm apple pie.”

If we did get these lozenges, we’d look down at the label and then start choking on it, because we’d be reminded of the movie and would get so grossed out by it. Sorry. We’d love to try it, but we can’t.

Hair Care

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

We all know that garlic has a ton of health benefits, and it’s great when you’re sick.

But is it something you really want to put on your hair? Do you want your hair to smell like garlic all day?

We can kind of see the point if you’re trying to ward of vampires. In that case, it makes total sense to buy this shampoo. You never know when a vampire is going to come and get you!

Hot Glue

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

We’re pretty sure that this is a hair styling product and not actual glue, like for crafts.

But we can’t help but feel that if we got this product, we’d accidentally switch it with our regular glue.

We’d be walking around with hair styled with a whole bunch of Elmer’s glue instead of hair glue and we’d look ridiculous. No, it’s better to be safer and not have anything to do with this product in any way shape or form.

Monkey Business

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

If we see a product called monkey brains, we’re going to assume it’s meant to be food for zombie monkeys.

Human zombies go around eating human brains, so zombie monkeys must go around eating monkey brains.

This easy to use tube is perfect for the zombie monkey on the go who doesn’t always have access to an alive monkey. It’s perfect for snack time, too! Finally! Someone is catering to the needs of the zombie monkey population!

Wet And Wild

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Uh…. These grocery stores are really going all out when it comes to stocking their shelves with weird products.

Who needs something called turtle water? What is turtle water for? Is it made with actual turtles? Or is it just for turtles?

Because if this is a product for turtles, then the packaging should be written in turtle language. Because right now it’s in English, and that’s something only humans can read. Turtles can’t read English, you guys!

Bananarama

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

Oh man! Our mouths are watering at the thought of something called banana curd that’s sold in a jar!

It doesn’t make us think of curdled bananas at all! And we’re totally not grossed out by the image of a nasty, curdled banana either!

We can’t believe this grocery store still had banana curds left on their shelf! This is totally an everyday item that the average household has use for in practically each and every meal!

Beliebe In Magic

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

We didn’t know that we needed a dozen cupcakes with Justin Bieber’s face on it, until we saw it.

Who ordered this from a bakery? Was it his mom because she’s so proud of her son?

Like, he did really well at his gymnastics competition so his mom called up the bakery and got them to put this together because she wanted to show him how much she loves him? Because she’s going to embarrass him in front of his friends if she did!

Hefty Toll

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

We love Toll House chocolate chips as much as the next person, but there’s no way we’re paying that much for chocolate chips.

We’re not that addicted to chocolate. We don’t need to pay their exorbitant prices just so we can get our fix.

Who are we kidding? We’d sell our right arm for just one taste of that silky, chocolatey goodness. Just one chip. That’s all we need, and then we’ll be good. We’ll stop after that! We promise!

Whole Hog

Credits: http://www.reddit.com

Perfect! We needed just a pig’s face and not any other part of it’s body, especially the bacon part!

We didn’t know how creepy a pig’s head could look until we saw it shrink wrapped like this.

This is seriously the stuff of nightmares. We’re not going to be able to sleep for a week, because we’ll just be thinking about this pig and it’s poor head wrapped in plastic. Also, it does look delicious, as well!

One And Only

Credits: https://www.facebook.com

If you’re looking for a meaningful, committed relationship, it turns out you can just get one at the grocery store.

Don’t waste your time going on Tinder or Bumble. You won’t be able to find one there.

You can just get your but to a Ralph’s and pick up one… or four! At only $10.99 a pop, they’re a good deal, so you can afford to stock up on several committed relationships just in case one of them goes bad!